Horoscopes | Week of October 22-28, 2007

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Can you consistently maintain good habits, both at work and at home, no matter what's thrown at you? This week is a test of your self-discipline, Aries… to determine whether you can curb your reactivity enough to stay the course, regardless of how external snares may jump out into the road like obstacles in some car-driving video game. More likely than not, you'll meet an unexpected curve or two—and you must refuse to be shaken. You have little-to-no control over what happens, but you're completely and totally in charge of your own responses. With Venus still hanging in your 6th, along with a Saturn-South Node conjunction, you'll prove yourself reliable by continuing on with whatever you had intended to complete… even if you must deftly swerve around the distracting pileup begging for you to gawk at or plow right into it. You can work through anything, Aries, right? One or two daunting surprises aren't enough to inspire lackadaisicalness, are they? Or are you just rarin' at the chance to use such an unforeseen event as an excuse to dodge your duties? I hope that's not the case. If it is, you'll flunk the test… and, sooner or later, you'll have to answer to Saturn, and he's a tough examinator.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): 'I don't give a steaming crap what you think about me. I've spent way too long "keeping it together" so that everyone else could run off, chasing their dreams while I made sure the electricity didn't get turned off, the plants were watered, and nobody was inconvenienced by me. Now it's my turn to stand out, inconvenient or not. Don't like it? Don't let the door hit you on the way out. I've still got a whole bunch of spunk left in me… and I'll push that used-up old bitch down that flight of stairs, rather than wait backstage on some flicker of hope that one day she'll toss me a moment in the spotlight. Those of you who really know me (the genuine, unbridled version!) can spy that fire rising behind my eyes. I've had enough of good behavior. It got me this far, so thank you very much for that, but I've reached the end of this thoroughfare. If I continue heading that direction, I'll hit the wall—and remain there indefinitely. That's why I'm gyrating in wild circles like a spiritually intoxicated Sufi, spinning toward ecstasy without caring which way is up or how silly I might look to the doubters, envious that I've decided to live liberated while they dab their blemishes with the wrong concealer color and pray we don't notice the misery written on their faces. I've been there. I hold tenderness in my heart for that condition. But I'm done with it. Life's too short to live it for appearances. Don't like me this way? Fuck off.'


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It's a mad mad mad mad world out there, Gemini, with so very many people and projects and processes going absolutely ape-shit haywire… and while ordinarily this is the type of environment in which you and your hyperactive-multi-tasking self thrive, this week's version of the chaos won't necessarily appeal. Guess what? It doesn't have to. You're under no obligation to strap yourself into this turbulent ride and bear the bumps and twists until you're ready to yak. You are allowed to retreat a bit, you know. The ideal antidote may in fact be returning home early each evening, stripping down to your fuzziest pajamas, curling up in your favorite chair with a couple lightweight flicks or a pulpy novel, and chilling the fuck out. While you're at it, turn your phone off, too. You don't need to be at anybody's beck-and-call (though you may have convinced yourself that you're indispensable to any number of folks in your life). Furthermore, you don't need to say much either. For the time being, words are cheap. And for that matter, why don't I just end here?


CANCER (June 21-July 22): Here you are, feeling more chit-chatty and gregariously extroverted than usual, without all the same ol' internal censors you enforce on yourself to keep from exposing your sensitive insides… and how much fun that is, eh, Cancer? Then, out of the blue, right as you're comfortably and naturally weaving some ultra-engaging conversation (not awkwardly self-conscious, for once), you accidentally say the wrong thing—and suddenly, your foot is shoved way deep in your mouth, nearly to the point of gagging (if not past it). Oh, no! The whole beautiful occurrence of social ease threatens to crumble down on your head! What do you do?!? How about this: Don't blow it out of proportion. There's no good reason to allow a moment's innocent misspeak (no matter how 'rude' or 'hurtful' or 'inconsiderate' you might deem your own remark to be, in self-critical retrospect) to scare you back into your shell. We're all human. We all say things we may regret the second we utter 'em. And because this is a universal experience, we also all can find compassion for each other when such things happen. So, please allow yourself to continue speaking freely… no matter what you might blurt out. And if you goof, so what? It's actually not that big a deal.


LEO (July 23-August 22): Your next big 'go-getter' move (which should probably officially wait until mid-November for actual enactment) will be most successful if you strategize like a experienced businessperson whose number-one product is her-/himself… and whose task is to find the appropriate brand positioning to differentiate your product from the others in a highly competitive market segment. The likeliest threat to that success, alas, is if you try to be everything to everyone—without accurately assessing your strengths and weaknesses, or building that knowledge into your marketing plan. All sorts of wheelers-and-dealers see good things in you, but only some of them are seeing clearly. Others are misreading you, based upon their fondness for your personality (as opposed to a clear understanding of what you're good and not-so-good at) or because you're the one who's currently right in front of their face. Certain smooth-talkers may even want to sign you up so badly, they offer you irresistible incentives like way too much money (or, for that matter, the Brooklyn Bridge!). But be cautious, Leo. To protect your own interests, you must read the fine print. And furthermore, it's your responsible to sort the wheat from the chaff… and to find the appropriate arrangement for your unique skills and talents, so you can be both personally effective and satisfy their needs. You've got to know your product, and sell it to the right buyer. Otherwise, you'll end up with unhappy customers who could spread negative publicity and sabotage your whole enterprise. You shouldn't hawk hamburgers at a conference of vegetarians, after all…


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): In any and every interpersonal situation (and, of course, especially when it comes to romance), you should expect the other person to behave like a total wild card. Point at the blue sky, and they're liable to not only claim it's red, but to run around like a headless chicken clucking about how the whole damn thing's about to fall. Folks in your closest relationships may act out, just to prove they can… not necessarily to intentionally fluster you, though that may be icing on their cake. Hard as it may be, don't take it personally, Virgo—even if, on some level, it is. Instead, treat it like a challenge of your own self-control. The more unpredictable they are, the most consistent you should be. The harder they try to get a crazy reaction out of you, the more strongly you stick to your sanest guns. If you plan on them to surprise you, you simply cannot be surprised. And once you're prepared, you're likelier not to lose control and end up doing something you'll regret later. There will be no backpedaling required. You will have remained steadfast brilliantly (and stumped them in the process, which may be icing on your cake). You'll feel good about yourself—and what they're up to won't matter so much.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Things not making sense? Confused about where you stand? Inexplicably moody, down, lost or self-defeated? These feelings (or others like them) may indeed be real… but that doesn't imply you're expected to understand where they're coming from or what you're 'supposed to do' about them. You mustn't assign logic to them, attaching stories that seem to conveniently align with your current psychic condition—and end up inadvertently fixing meaning onto fleeting impressions that may or may not have a damn thing to do with anything. In other words, if you're feeling blue, don't start reading your entire life circumstance through this filter, making lists of everything that is going wrong or just plain sucks, as if that somehow explains why you're feeling blue. Forget about getting any real-life clarity this week, with way too many factors still up in the air… as well as these floating anxieties, discomforts and emotional bugs doing their pesky best to glom onto you and infect you with their pessimism. All you can really do is surrender to the feelings, accepting all the unknowns that inform them, while giving yourself plenty of space for this not-knowing. You'll also help yourself out by holding a firm boundary with regards to the negative self-talk, based on any attempt to interpret. If you feel bad, you feel bad… but that doesn't make you a bad person.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Far be it for me to encourage the suspicions of the sometimes-outright-paranoid Scorpio… but if I were you, I'd keep an eye on that one friend, colleague or teammate about whom you've previously had your doubts. Now, I'm not saying that he/she is definitely trouble. Your concerns could be totally off-base—or right on the money. We just don't know yet. It's too early to tell. This is not the time to come out with accusations or thinly-veiled questions (remember, as I told you last week, Mercury retrograde is affecting your ability to hide your hand)… merely to do a lot of careful observing, without making up your mind 'til all the evidence is in. Of course, you may eventually discover this supposed pal is indeed untrustworthy, not exactly who he/she purports to be, and/or actually attempting to undermine you (out of a sense of being threatened by you). On the other hand, you could find out that it's you who's untrusting… because you've been hurt by friends before, proven to be a hurtful friend in your own right and thus project what you'd do onto others, and/or trained yourself to rely on absolutely nobody but your own inner survivor (which may be 'safe', but is also rather lonely). Hold off on assigning judgment for another couple weeks, until Mercury returns to direct motion—and you've got all the facts straight.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): If any exciting outer-world (i.e., career, community) honor or opportunity is being presented to you, it's absolutely not a fluke. You've earned it through sheer will and effort—and should accept it with pride accordingly. But if you're feeling unacknowledged or facing some disappointing or deflating news, that too isn't exactly accidental. Without knowing the specifics of your situation, I suspect this setback is a sort of penance you're being forced to endure (per Saturn conjunct the South Node in your solar 10th)… as a (direct or indirect) consequence of not meeting a certain responsibility (to yourself or someone else) at some point in the past. If you're confronting this latter situation, Sagittarius, swallow it with gracious resignation—then, move on. Likelier than not, you're working off some old karma leftover from circumstances you're no longer actively creating. Unfortunately, what's already set into motion can't exactly be halted in its tracks. And no good can come from self-critical or self-sabotaging messages swimming through your head now, beating you up for doing things long ago that you probably wouldn't do today. You've got to let yourself go and break free from such internal scripts. Reprogram your mind with your new mantra—'I am worthy'—by repeating it 'til the tune plays itself. If, however, the current turn of events is a favorable one… pat yourself on the back, with the confirmation that hard work really does pay off in the end.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): As important as it is to keep the panoramic perspective in mind as you make choices to move yourself forward, it also pays to humbly entertain all the options… even those that seem to have no place in your big picture. You may think you've already made a final decision, and yet it's wisest to leave a bit of wiggle-room in it, in case you stumble onto something that'll result in an even more dazzling product. There's also a social element to this advice, too, since not only does the synergy that stems from collaborative thinking generally improve the ultimate quality of all work… but, though you may ultimately opt to discard any or all the feedback you receive from them, other people want to feel like you're open to what they have to say (as opposed to just nodding your head while quietly dismissing their ideas). If this train of horoscopic advice rings a bell, it may be because I raised a similar topic two weeks ago, when I was reminding you to seek outside input as part of your own learning process. Of course that part of it is still quite relevant—and there's now this other part to it, too, which involves how willing you are to actively engage with folks on the nuts-and-bolts level of what you're actually doing, so they feel more integral a part of your life. The steps may be small, in terms of simply allowing people to share their perspectives with you before you react in any way… but the payoff could be great, in that your friends (and strangers, too!) will deeply appreciate your receptivity. (People like to feel useful, after all.) And who knows? You might get just the kernel of inspiration you need, simply through the act of social circulation.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): You can't get away from the intricacies of intermingled involvements… and nor should you bother trying, Aquarius. I already told you that you're supposed to be wading around in the pigpen, crazying yourself with the interpersonal psychological filth that you'd probably prefer to wash off and walk away from—even though, at the same time, you can't get enough. Dare I be presumptuous here, but I'll bet part of your problem is your worrying about what'd happen if you lost your self-control (whether it be with desire, upset or any such intense emotion). So hopefully this will make you feel much better: Go ahead, and lose it. You can't remain perfectly well-behaved at all times, under the assumption that your chilly restraint somehow wins you the moral authority in any unexposed attractions or unaired disagreements. You may emerge victorious in the ice wars, but you still won't have gotten anywhere with what's really going on. Stop trying to plan every move or utterance, like a master chess-player or professional rhetorician. Live looser. Let the cracks of disrupted feelings show. Reveal a wild side, even if you fear that makes you a lascivious, vengeful or nasty individual. You are as much that type of person as any of us are, no matter how you use your 'higher intellectual awareness' to shield that reality. You might as well enjoy the release that comes from bursting.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): Yes, this is another Pisces horoscope about relationships. Sick of 'em yet? Well, if that's the case, then you're either refusing to acknowledge the very real relationship issues that you're supposed to be dealing with right now… or you've totally excused yourself from the relationship game altogether, which may be safe in the short term but ultimately won't make you so happy. Those Pisceans who are on the right track are coming to understand that true love only comes when you outwardly display a deep respect for yourself—as a model for how you expect others (namely, you-know-who) to treat you. And that means doing pretty much whatever you want to do, without stressing over what Mr./Ms. All-Important Opinion will think about it. If you're always already considering somebody else's potential reactions before you can act or speak or take any friggin' move at all, you're not exactly 'being yourself', are you? You're being someone you think some other someone wants you to be. (How psychically exhausting.) If you have a romantic partner or best friend who'd rather keep you on a short leash than 'give' you total freedom (as if that's something you need be given by another person), he/she doesn't really trust you nor care for your authentic being. So why bother? (P.S. If you're single and bummed about that fact, please realize it's so much better to be alone than entangled with the wrong guy or gal. Switch your focus to something that makes you happy, and the relationship will follow when the timing's right.)