Horoscopes | Week of April 2-8, 2007

ARIES (March 21-April 19): By the time your week is over, Aries, your ruling warrior-god Mars will have hidden himself in your solar 12th house… where he'll stay for a good month-and-a-half. During this time, it'll be harder than usual to directly connect (1) the personal desires you claim to have with (2) the actions you take in attempting to fulfill those so-called desires. Maybe you'll only think you want something, while your instinctive behaviors tell a much different story to those who are observing you. Or perhaps you'll imagine you've been clear in asserting your wants, though the other people involved may completely miss the point of what you're doing (and even look at you like you're crazy). Rather than lamenting this style of movement—akin to a half-blind feeling-around for something you're not sure you'll recognize when you find—or frustratingly deeming it an 'impairment', you might as well work with what you've got. Though you may be unclear about your current status or the relative benefits of this-or-that choice, let yourself be okay with the uncertainty… permitting yourself to learn along the way, with the knowledge that you're preparing for a more obvious leap ahead once Mars hits your sign in mid-May. In the meantime, it's wiser to follow your feelings, even when they lead places you don't understand why you'd want to be. Rather than trying to analyze what already appears to be the reality, rely heavily on high hopes for what's imminently possible. Just when logic may tell you to throw in the towel, that's the moment when magic is likeliest to occur—if you believe.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Continuing along from last week, you're still oozing a generous helping of hotness out your pores… certainly enough of the right stuff to get those desirous heads turning your way. But whereas before you might've been hesitant to accept the truth of your current upswing in attractiveness, this week it'll be much harder to deny the fact. Why? Because, Taurus, you're far likelier to actually reap an unanticipated benefit—a secret-admirer gift, a long-overdue bit of praise from the boss, a new level of respect from folks who've been quietly watching. And once you open your arms to receive this bountiful boon with the characteristic humility that keeps you grounded, they'll love you even more for your poised response. Of course, too much humility will read as if you're refusing to pick up your well-earned prize… and there's absolutely no advantage to snubbing genuine recognition or regard. That's like telling the lottery commission, 'Thanks, but I really shouldn't take this million-dollar check with my name on it.' Trust me, the lottery commission (or whatever's your real-life equivalent of it) won't come knocking a second time, if you rebuff 'em once. Likewise, if you're lookin' to meet a handsome hunk or drop-dead gorgeous girlie, you've got to leave enough of a friendly opening to enable him or her to say 'hi'—or you'll seem too cocky to be approached, even if that's the furthest thing from true. Make sure you're accessible enough that you don't altogether miss the goodies being dangled in front of your nose.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When it comes to professional presentations, community meetings or other public pitches or propositions, there's no need to rehearse your lines. You're far likelier to make a good impression (and score the win!) if you just show up… and let the authentic, unrehearsed words flow straight off the tip of your tongue. Don't question where these super-successful sound-bytes are coming from, and don't try to remember (and repeat) what you just said. As long as you keep a clear intention in your heart (yes, your heart where you feel from… not your head that seeks to come off smart), speaking off the cuff will do you dandy. However, these rules unfortunately don't apply to one-on-one relationship chats with your sweetheart, best friend or close collaborator. Once the psychic rush of performing publicly (and for more 'impersonal' reasons) is removed from the situation, your extemporaneous tone is liable to take on a pushier vibe. What might come across as 'confidence' in an organizational or business setting will sound more like 'self-righteousness' in a more intimate setting. If you want your right-hand-guy-or-gal to actually hear what you're saying, then, you'll have to keep that preachiness in check. While you may know your 'area of expertise' like the back of your hand, you might surprise yourself with how out-of-sync you are in more subjective matters. When heightened emotions are involved, back off a bit… and, if necessary, request some time to think before responding.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): Full-Moon weeks often have a tendency to rustle or rile the delicate Cancerian soul. After all, your ruling planet is the Moon herself… and you can either blame your tide-like fluctuation of feelings on her, or you can thank her for providing you a broader-and-deeper range of human emotions than most folks get to experience in life. And this week, with the full Moon in your solar 4th—one of the most discreetly private and introspective zones of the chart—you could well face a very personal batch of internal moods (which 'moods' they are, only the Moon knows) that are quite hard to convey to others, at least with any intelligibility. In fact, you might even drive yourself crazy, attempting to sort out what's what according to where they might be coming from. So forget about the futile sense-making exercise, Cancer. There's no neat cause-and-effect formulation that'll explain why you're feeling whatever you're feeling. This is an important truth to remember, too, before you start picking a fight or talking shit behind somebody's back. You mustn't blame someone else for your current mood, even if it seems so certain the two are related. No matter what an instant's apparent insight might tell you, the connection is not what you think. If the risk of inadvertently projecting your stuff outward is simply too much for you to bear, just stay home and do something nice for yourself. Then, you get all your own attention, without the undue distractions… which is probably exactly what you need, anyway.


LEO (July 23-August 22): If you want a certain sought-after somebody to take notice of you, or to specifically notice the things you want to be noticed for… it's on you to show him you mean business. With Mars and Pluto sextiling across two potentially love-related houses in your solar chart, you should place yourself in the dominant take-charge position, rather than hoping Mr. or Ms. Dreamboat catches on to subtle clues and makes the move his-/herself. This ain't the moment to play it cool—unless, of course, you're willing to risk being overlooked altogether. Why waste the time? Find a conspicuous way to cause some kind of commotion (not an unpleasant happening, so much as merely a noisy or impossible-to-ignore one), and it'll stop 'em dead in their tracks. Then, blurt out a bold proposal, or reveal something scandalous about yourself that'll get tongues wagging. Even if these provocative efforts appear on the surface to backfire, you may need to give 'em a chance to sink in. If you did a good job creating a memorable impression, they'll still be thinking about you days afterward. It's less about the immediate result than it is about the attention-grabbing efforts themselves. All publicity, as they say, is good publicity. Meanwhile, on the professional front, you may find yourself on the receiving end of unearned praise or popularity. It's not that you don't generally deserve it, dear Leo, but in this case, you may be the lucky victim of mistaken identity. Before you climb up to the podium to grab your trophy (is it yours?) and launch into your weepy acceptance speech (which you conveniently had in your jacket pocket?), be openly honest with any misgivings you might have about claiming this prize. If it ain't legitimately yours, don't take it. Explain why, with thankful respect but deflationary dutifulness. Your real award—for unwavering ethic—is still being engraved.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): First off, Virgo, it's a wonderful week to contribute one more good push toward whatever personal-development project, household chore or work-related assignment has been recently occupying your energies. You'll find that extra dose of elbow grease at your disposal… and it'll be even more powerful if you keep reminding yourself how badly you want this task-at-hand over and done already. What better incentive for shoving through it than being within breathing distance of completion? Go for it, all the damn way 'til you're finished. Then, once it's finally put to bed, you'll have that much more freedom to dedicate to other purposes—like, for instance, a pleasantly productive conversation with your 'other half' about your aspirations and ideals. Hopefully, you took last week's call to look after your defining belief-system (or the explorations you intend to take to find one) seriously. Why? Because you're in good shape to convey its personal significance to you to the other person, thanks to a Mercury-Venus sextile between your solar 7th and 9th. You're playing host to a momentary lightness and ease in your style that'll help you speak convincingly of values that are important to you, without sounding too didactic or uncompromising. And rather than putting off your partner or playmate, your seriousness is likely to seem downright appealing. Not that I'm a big fan of proselytizing, but you might even garner a convert to your way of thinking… if you try explaining yourself now.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Romantic notions may easily get the best of you this week, Libra… and so I think it's fair to warn you not to get too comfortable in any pretty little worlds you might magically stumble into. While a full Moon in your sign gets the emotional waters churning, a Venus-Neptune square heightens your appreciation for all things beautiful—whether they exist in reality or merely as figments of some idealized 'could be'. There's certainly nothing wrong with holding out hope for the perfect job / home / lover / body / life. But you mustn't let it distract from the here and now, where we're forced to work pragmatically with what's already bankably extant. Feel free to be as creative as possible… yet without denying the unchangeable, irreversible absoluteness of certain non-negotiables. What qualifies within this iron-clad categorization? I dunno. That's not my job. If I told you which fountain is gushing the cleanest, freshest, purest water in the universe, and which is merely a hopeless mirage surrounding by miles and miles of featureless sand… well, then, where's the educational opportunity in that? No, no, all I'm here for is to warn you that every single ticket isn't a winner… some fortune cookies are empty… and there's a brand new 2007 Mercedes convertible behind only one of the curtains. Next week, after the body-buzz wears off and your feet hit the ground again, you might not even care. For now, let the glimpses of paradise be enough to whet your whistle for the time being.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): The horoscope I wrote you last week is still madly relevant today… as this week's astro-influences offer both (1) physical stamina for carrying out purely personal projects intended simply to make you feel more clear-headed, grounded and cared for, and (2) the interpersonal appeal to foster expressive, engaging interactions with a particular individual (or individuals) who'll hang on your every word. As before, I encourage you to approach this dual-front condition with an eye for balance… looking out, as equally as possible, for both your self-serving concerns (ain't nothin' wrong with serving yourself!) and your Venus-blessed relationship life (whether with a romantic interest or a well-loved close friend). On the first front, it's a great time for actively investing your energies in your household… forging ahead on that long-desired renovation project, procuring a nice new sturdy-and-enduring home furnishing, or reorganizing your kitchen or home-office area. Immediately upon taking action at home, you'll feel like you've grabbed a new grip of control over your life—in a way that'll help fuel your outer-world efforts, too. And on the other front, don't forget to share your inner workings with a special someone in your life. It's the courage to simply be yourself that'll wow the one whose eyes are on you. Who cares if you 'say too much' or come off weird? As long as you speak with conviction about what really moves you, your passion for life will be infectious.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): Ooh… I think you're going to like this one, Sagittarius. Considering boredom is one of your very worst adversaries, I'd like to begin by instructing you to battle tedium at all costs. You should do whatever's necessary to ensure your week remains engaging, rather than settle for an extended snore. So (and here's the really cool part), if that means you follow your inner troublemaker and, wherever things have grown stale, spark up some healthy bits of mischief, you're actually helping to move it all along. After all, you are a fire sign—'moving it all along' is part of your job description. That's right, it's perfectly fine to deliberate push some people's buttons… as long as you're not being mean-spirited. (Don't gloss over this point: Any mean-spirited behavior on your part immediately voids the permissive advice given in this horoscope.) If nothing else, at least you'll get a lively conversation started, eh? Unfortunately, I can't advocate spending each entire day on such rascally hijinks… for that would kind of be a waste of Venus in your 6th, which (as I told you last week) has some personal satisfaction in store for you, as long as you put in some earnest work. Maybe, then, you need to think about the mischief-making as a necessary part of your workload—get it out of the way, to scratch the itch for excitement, then get your nose back to the grindstone.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): Throw the strategy out the window, at least for this week. There's no mode of appropriateness to follow… no overarching umbrella of significance to the unfolding events… no need to suspend the free enjoyment of the moment, for some altogether 'mature' or 'responsible' reason. Breathe out the self-restrictions. Shake your head back and forth vigorously, while making nonsensical gurgling-and-babbling noises. Chill the fuck out, dude. Your number-one duty is merely to demonstrate what a lively, likeable character you are… and it'll be simple enough to do, as long as you liberally launch the clever cracks and racy remarks that come to your head, without the slightest hesitation. Well-crafted, wise-guy-esque small-talk will quickly transform you into the 'belle' (or 'beau') of any ball. The less self-conscious you are, the more easily and effortlessly you'll have the whole room in the palm of your hand. There's only one caution I have to offer, among an otherwise open invitation to cavort, cut up and clown around—watch your wallet. A moment's social high could easily tempt you into buying rounds for the whole place… and your money will suddenly be gone in a snap. You needn't flash cash in order to capture their attentions and hearts. Be loose-lipped all right—but tight-fisted.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): Whenever and wherever your participation is required this week, Aquarius, give at least 110% of yourself. We want a total and complete energetic contribution from you, and nothing less. Make every action matter. This is your last week of Mars in your 1st, which gives you one good goosing to boost whatever you've been actively stirring up since late February. Are there any candles you haven't yet lit? Are there any 'new beginnings' still to begin… or 'huge steps' still to take? While this isn't your only chance to do so (nothing, of course, stops you from doing any deed any time you want), it is a very favorable astro-moment for asserting yourself—especially with regards to your desired role in the wider community. Mars sextiles Pluto in your 11th, such that the personal investment you display will directly inspire others involved to step up their games, too. You've got that 'transformative leader' thing going in spades this week. But (and this is a key 'but') when your services are not needed, be sure to grab yourself a much-needed breather. With both Mercury and Venus moving into more extroverted placements next week, your social calendar will soon be crammed full again… and this is your best chance for a break. So after giving your 110% toward important community undertakings already underway, find the time to recharge your battery. You'll need all the juices you can replenish.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): You're about to get a whole lot more animated and snappy. Just when you thought you were running out of steam, Mars zooms into your sign by week's end… gracing you with a major injection of premium-octane pep to keep your energies up. So if, earlier in the week, you're struggling to find the fire to tackle all your social engagements and the extra projects at work… cut yourself a bit of slack, with the knowledge you'll definitely have the necessary zing by next week. In the meantime, a little time-stalling, thumb-twiddling and lightweight mind-occupying isn't such a bad thing. Gladly respond next week to their inquiries today. Instead, make lists of your favorite songs or colors. Fill out silly surveys on important topics such as how many times you've ever had sex in public or whether you prefer Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi. I must warn you, however, that along with the Mars booster-shot of physical initiative will come a very powerful need to incorporate lots of variety into your days. You'll require hyperactive stimulation levels to counteract a naughty case of the fidgets. Without enough to do, you're liable to turn in on yourself… transforming a wonderful opportunity for both productivity and personal pastimes into an excuse for jittery anxieties and overdramatic fantasies. In other words, starting this week and continuing for several more… keep yourself busy.