Horoscopes | Week of May 2-8, 2016

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Be here now, Aries. As we talked about last week, this is not a good time for fast-forwarding yourself into a forthcoming chapter of this story which hasn't yet been written. There's still important business in this-here present moment to handle… bank-balances to triple-check and accounts to reconcile… disparate streams to consolidate… and, most importantly, a careful review of all transactions conducted and terms agreed-upon over the past six-to-eight weeks or so. In case you hadn't noticed, a lot of evolutionary developments have already rapidly transpired just in this last month or two. Rather than overload your sense-making capacities by signing on for even more forward-leaps right away, let's give yourself a fair chance to digest this last chunk. You may not yet completely fathom the specific conditions of your current position (considering it seems to have changed quite considerably in a short time, and remains in dynamic transition), whether it affords you more opportunity and/or limits your immediate options. Like a careless dimension-traveler who exits the time-machine totally unprepared for that version of the future they've stepped into, you risk showing up to your next big step without the requisite resources, forethought, and/or firm self-assurance if you don't take this period to check your supplies, refamiliarize yourself with certain skills or knowledge, and get really fucking ready.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): For at least this brief shining moment, it's your world, Taurus, and the rest of us must find our best way to live here in sync with your tone, tempo, cadence, and color. It ought to be a smooth, sleek cruise through the week, especially if you have a decent notion of which passions, preferences, and/or participations will presently provide you the surest sense of 'all is right in the world' (not because every last dilemma or vexation has been thoroughly resolved, naturally, but because you've chosen to consciously prioritize that which brings personal meaning, purpose, and/or pleasure). As far as your own individual position is concerned, you aren't obliged to do anything particularly remarkable (other than continue to love what you love, stand for what you stand for, and appreciate what readily proceeds from there). Considering the heavily-retrograde planetary environment we're now in, be grateful for this swell of advantageous yin. However, please also be warned that another party may bait you into a false urgency, as if there is something you should be industriously pushing forward right now ('for whose benefit?' you might ponder), though the planets say otherwise. In confronting such a pushy person, there's only one critical truth to recall: At the moment, it's your world. How dare they try to call the shots.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Have you spoken to your guardian angel lately, Gemini? Or perhaps a better question: Have you been listening to what that doting Agent-of-the-Divine is saying to you? By my watch, you are overdue for some quality one-on-one time, you and your rendition of the Great Everything (or, if you prefer, just plain 'God'). A whole bunch of energizing, exhilarating, and/or exasperating interpersonal activity has lately dominated your attention… and while there's not necessarily anything 'wrong' with that (especially if it's been feeling so 'right'), it does suggest the possibility that these latest relational developments are carrying you somewhere other than where, say a mere six months or so, you'd been intending to more firmly anchor yourself. Each life consists of many changes-in-plans, of course. Some are 'happy accidents', orchestrated by the miraculous hand of fate (we might thankfully claim) to pop us onto our most ideal life-trajectory. Others seem more like self-sabotaging (or at least self-complicating) detours, inspired by spectacular sensations or dazzling promises which later dissipate to reveal a disappointing reality lurking beneath… leading one to wonder whether this was merely a spectacular time-waster or dazzling miscalculation. To be clear, I do not know the specific nature of your potential diversion—but your Higher Self (for lack of any less cheesy a term) certainly does. If you really want to know what the spiritual guides, interdimensional beings, or intuitive voices-inside think about all this, though, you've got to proactively engage the conversation. And that requires ample solitary quiet-time.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): Arguably, the most 'efficient' way to spend your week, Cancer, won't involve another fearless automaton-like lumbering through the official workload. On the contrary, despite all that noise from the perpetually-whirring assembly-line and the peskily-ticking clock (not to mention your inner slave-driver's impatiently-tapping fingers), you're presently in need of reestablishing and/or reaffirming connectedness with the chums, comrades, and colleagues who together represent your 'niche in the world'. This ties into your personal efficiency level, believe it or not, because you're likelier to needlessly expend energy and/or squander time by neglecting to rely on paths already carved out, priorities established, and/or precedents set by folks who share the same goal, style, approach, or perspective. Without tapping into this camaraderie, you may have forgotten why you're working so hard on this or that item. You may be unnecessarily robbing yourself of concrete reassurances. You may be lonelier than you ought to be, considering you're surrounded by people who understand your situation (perhaps better, even, than you've given them credit for). Why indulge that illusory sense of being lost in a solitude of drudgery? You can't get too lost, as long as you lean on your peers to regularly remind you where you are.


LEO (July 23-August 22): There's presently a palpable tension in your life, Leo, between 'work' and 'play'… and, to hear the planets tell it, work is asking you to temporarily let it win this quarrel. So as to hopefully prevent any worry-driven reactions from the play players, however, let me further add that you have plenty of life-giving fun times in store over the coming months. In fact, intentionally choosing to participate in the most thoroughly rewarding, life-affirming, and self-gratifying types of fun possible (not merely whatever entertaining-enough diversions cross your path at the moment you're looking to goof off or occupy your downtime) is actually one of your primary duties to yourself as long as Saturn remains in your solar 5th (through the end of '17, to be exact). Right now, though, you have an unparalleled opportunity to strengthen and solidify your position in the career sphere and/or on the community stage (as we covered last week)… but only through representing yourself as a reliable presence, one who can be counted on to provide the critical facts, the reassuring support, and a loyal orientation to the goals-at-hand no matter what musical act has rolled into town or grand-opening is promising free champagne and finger-foods. Don't squander this on frivolities you won't even remember you indulged a year from now. Bonus points if you allow any unsatisfied yearnings for fun to build up enough so they offer instructive indications of what you'd really want to be doing, if you had the unqualified choice (since, later, you will).


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Emotional fluctuations fuel a certain myopia, Virgo. It doesn't mean the feelings aren't legitimate or worthy of sincere reflection, of course… just that they have a funny way of washing over everything, and, in the process, mistakenly convincing us that the temporary filter they place over our perceptions is showing us some sort of eternal truth (when, in fact, it's merely how we're feeling about a particular thing at a particular moment). Outside that immediate sphere in which such filtered interpretations vie for influence, your overall outlook actually remains pretty encouraging… provided, that is, you steadfastly bear in mind the main life-principles driving your year's self-evolving stretches, and repeatedly remind yourself of how distinctly you've aligned your strategic mindset with such driving values. Making gradual, sustainable, purposeful progress won't solve all your problems overnight. For this extended transition period, you may have to straddle two worlds at once… one foot already planting itself in the more-meaningful ground you've selected for yourself, while the other's still left to kick around leftover dust from decisions long ago outgrown and/or passively assented to with little personal desire to back it up. Your fluctuating emotional responses relate to what's already been said, done, and accounted for, and is now merely being burned off. Your future, on the other end, continues to look bright.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Any present rush to synthesize, simplify, resolve, resign, or otherwise move on from here would be motivated more by an impulse to relieve the social awkwardness, fill any conversational lulls, and/or perform visible (if not somewhat insincere) nonchalance, Libra, than by what would ultimately situate you in the most advantageous position. It would be better to either reiterate the clear stance you've already articulated and/or to restate the million-dollar-question that's still conspicuously hanging out there than to skip ahead to other matters (which, mind you, essentially depend on this jointly-agreed-upon conclusion that hasn't yet been attained), as if to treat this unfinished business like it is finished. By all means, let the nervousness build up. Don't indirectly concede your ground by maneuvering to alleviate the relational tension, when such 'tension' is simply a reasonable byproduct of the fact that you two aren't on the same page, at least not yet. Tension needn't be unbearable if it's merely a temporary condition created by a time-consuming negotiation that's still in progress… especially if you can acknowledge that to be the case, without compulsively pouring energy into assuming you, therefore, should keep continuously tinkering with it until there's an obvious advance. Live with it a while longer. Maybe they'll be the first to flinch.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): Anchor yourself in the securing familiarity of your closest relationship(s), Scorpio. Though what you're trying to pull off for your own material gain, confidence surge, and/or practical self-development remains critical and nerve-wracking (with no miraculous rescues in immediate sight), your core people are there for you… and none of them will assess or antagonize you based upon what's listed on your resume, how much dough you make, or whether you're demonstrating the expected rate of worldly growth. In a galaxy where we compete for valuable resources and wage wars over economic advantage, your intrinsic affinity with certain individuals serves as a relatively straightforward home-base. Retreat to its protective warmth, and recharge your batteries. You'll need the extra energy-stores in order to keep on pounding the pavement. Be proactive in scheduling meet-ups with the folks you like the best… and once you're together, be unashamedly real about your current triumphs and struggles (for anything less will merely fuel an unhealthy sense of isolation). Accept invitations to meet your friends' friends and your loved-ones' loved ones. If they've been thusly vouched for, you needn't worry about forging perfect first-impressions with them; dive in with unfettered authenticity. The fresh perspectives they'll offer may be a great salve to your stresses.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): Any impulse or whim which threatens to disrupt your dependable day-in-day-out rhythms should be viewed with self-protective suspicion, Sagittarius. Rather than obediently following its seductive provocation, you might instead probe more deeply into questions about what this inciting inclination symbolizes, what type of liberatory urge is crying out for greater acknowledgment and/or which everyday obligation feels like it's starting to encroach ever more obtrusively upon your independence… all while continuing to keep up the earnest efforts. While you of course possess the inalienable right to stop what you're doing at any point, and to radically reorient yourself toward different priorities should you feel so obliged, any sudden dropping-of-the-baton or dramatic rupture-in-routine would not presently prove very auspicious—mainly because you're at a crowning moment in your ongoing anglings to achieve that certain position or objective out there in the world, and, before you leave any of that behind in your haste to chase the next potential thrill, it behooves you to stick around and collect what's coming to you. Zoom off too soon, and you'll undercut the now-materializing payoff which was (originally, at least) the very reason you worked so hard to get this far.


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): As much as I'd really like to, Capricorn, I cannot in good conscience offer you 'something more productive' (as a certain Capricorn commentator among you has requested) in this week's horoscope. Do you think I enjoy urging you to wait out cryptic limbos, endure stalled progress, and protect yourself against unanticipated animosity (someone else's or yours)? I'm not arbitrarily spinning some self-devised wheel of fortune over here, deciding by personal whim or chance which zodiac-signs to saddle with the less-desirable forecasts. I have to call it like the planets are showing it to me: Your astrology remains strongly influenced by a retrograde Mars-in-your-12th, a placement which might as well be defined as the antithesis of 'productivity'. And do I have nothing else to tell you all but 'stay to yourself in case you might offend' (as another Capricorn lamented via email, even while simultaneously admitting they knew that wasn't really what I was saying)? I thought last week's encouragement to 'entertain, inspire, and/or enjoy yourself' with 'previously-proven approaches to putting a smile on your face' (courtesy of your presently-activated 5th house) was some pretty good stuff. That advice still very much applies, by the way. Just because I think it's wise to hold off on productive pushes—and, while biding your time, to make a point of delighting in those trusty affections, activities, and interests already in ample supply all around you—that shouldn't be taken to indicate I'm not on your side. I'm just the messenger with the astrological calendar.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): Really take the time to check deeply in with your root-level feelings, Aquarius. Your most promising way(s) forward must be underscored by a thorough understanding of your own emotional motivations, relational desires, familial imprints, and mortal terrors… and the present astrology encourages you to sit with whichever such drives have continuously operated in your core, as a reassuring reminder of who you fundamentally are no matter which externalized version you're lately showing to the world. Before you can effectively proceed with any social-positioning shakeouts (which might eventually lead to tighter-and-truer allegiances with certain individuals and/or starker separations from others), you must get even clearer on those inner truths that won't morph or migrate based on interpersonal pressure, perceived political advantage, competitiveness, and/or retaliatory bloodlust. Put another way: Concentrating on (or obsessing over) what everybody else is doing just pulls you away from the unalienable self-knowing necessary for holding your ground under any circumstance. That doesn't mean what they're up to, however, is totally irrelevant. Rather, it's just not the best time to engage too directly or decidedly with it… not when you ought to be fortifying your character-essence first, so you won't get knocked off your game.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): In extending the themes we covered in last week's horoscope, Pisces, I promise you won't screw up your big shot or golden opportunity if you steal yourself an interval of basic, uneventful, run-of-the-mill shooting the shit with those pals and/or family-members whose companionship is so damn familiar, you don't even have to think about who you are or what you're saying. If you don't purposely seek out such unquestionably safe social contexts where you can comfortably riff off the cuff, you can too easily get caught up in excessive amounts of the-end-justifies-the-means strategizing—and unintentionally surrender a degree of your perceived authenticity, due to how brazenly certain ambitions are emanating off of you. This is admittedly an unusual situation for you Pisceans to find yourselves in, as 'authenticity' isn't a quality you're known to lack and your 'ambitions' (however you'd define them) are rarely this conspicuously pungent. But I've made such a point of stressing the 'make or break' importance of this present moment in your longer-term public-world efforts, I wouldn't want you to take things to an extreme… and forgo genuine social kinship in favor of incessant positioning. That said, don't be silly enough to choose a boss, mentor, client, customer, or competing co-worker as someone with whom to gossip, air your frustrations, or confess your deepest feelings. Find your off-the-cuff connections with folks totally removed from your professional sphere.