Horoscopes | Week of April 10-16, 2006

ARIES (March 21-April 19): With the Full Moon in your opposing sign, Libra—and therefore in your solar 7th, the house of one-on-one relationships—this week will likely bring a culmination to any recent interpersonal negotiations or stand-offs. Following up on last week's potential power struggles (whether you let 'em get that far or not), now's the time to ensure resolution happens, with no loose strings or unvoiced perturbations left out there. Look to say your last piece by mid-week… and then allow the bygones to be gone, one way or another. You've got too much else to do—ideas to spurt out or toss around, life experiences to welcome into your heart—and shouldn't be bothered to stew in stand-still rehashings, like a hippo up to its head in warm stagnant mud. You must be free to move about at a moment's notice, wherever the itch leads you… to follow what feels right, and to avoid that which doesn't… without hesitating to try and explain what defies explanation, and thus wasting your breath. By week's end, I'm sorry to say, if they don't understand what you're doing, it's their problem.


TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Whenever you question the quality of your involvements, don't underestimate the commanding impact you're having—whether for better or worse. As I told you a few weeks back, you're not an especially casual or unnoticeable type, even when you make efforts to blend. So you'd might as well use this knowledge to guide your mighty influence toward the most meaningful results, rather than trying to (mistakenly) convince yourself that what you do doesn't matter. Not only does it matter, it matters strongly to certain folks in close proximity (physically and/or emotionally) to you. They find what you're doing massively motivational—or devastatingly disappointing. No half-assed reactions here… though you're likely unaware of the true depth of their responsiveness. (It's happening behind the psychological curtain.) That's why, Taurus, you're not being self-important (in a distasteful way, that is) to assume your words and deeds this week are crucial—not only for stimulating your own best productions and expressions, but for inspiring their best as well. Sloppiness on your part can lead to years of mediocrity on theirs. Or, if you go the extra mile, you're exemplifying to others how it should be done. Like you'll never forget that one high-school teacher who opened up a door to you, they'll remember you years from now as the one who showed 'em what was possible.


GEMINI (May 21-June 20): To commemorate your ruler Mercury's third and final square to Pluto over these past six weeks—and to officially put to bed any lingering after-effects of this doozy of a Mercury retrograde—wrap up whatever remnants of weirdness still exist between you and your boss, your partner, and/or your parent. I'm not talking about the long-term beef, as much as the recent flare-ups… though some of the past crap may have slipped past the metal detectors and back on board. It's not about forcing a fake resolution, perfect as the ending of a Sandra Bullock vehicle. Rather, it's just to make sure everything everyone wanted to say has been said, and that each other party can repeat it back, as proof that good listening occurred all ways. Even if more concrete results can't yet be evidenced, take satisfaction in knowing the awareness sank in on some level. Don't push your luck for more. Then, get outside the 'me and you' into a wider arena, where somewhat lighter conversation and social circulation can occur. The relief from finally having given your best in this contested relationship territory will draw you some new players to play with.


CANCER (June 21-July 22): Just when you started to feel yourself sinking into an undertow stronger than your power to resist it… the perfect helper comes along—Mars, moving into your sign, like a life preserver hypercharged with a jet-pack to pull you out of danger and airlift you to higher ground. The worst threat, incidentally, has been your susceptibility to the invisible influences of others… which, once detected by your subconscious mind, were inaccurately translated into personal worries. Along with a more powerful capacity to assert yourself, starting mid-week (i.e., post-Full Moon) and continuing through early June, comes a more dynamic mental independence… the ability to release thoughts that don't empower you, as hastily as they appear, rather than holding on and extrapolating to doomsdayish ends. Fuck any and every self-defeating thought, Cancer. Your brain belongs to you, so how would you like to use it? Think 'feisty', 'ferocious', and 'for your personal benefit first'… and that means aggressively setting a self-serving agenda, for how to carry out your own successes to maximum self-satisfaction. Residual accounts of why you can't must be beaten to a bloody pulp with a spiked baseball bat. (Yes, that violently.)


LEO (July 23-August 22): Your week has a snowballing effect on whatever's already in process… making more and more of it, with increased passion and provocation, until the terms of the madness are almost larger than life. I'll leave it to you to judge whether this is a good thing—though it surely depends on what the snowballing 'it' is. The last of the heart-rattling disclosures are due now (if there are any soul-mysteries left to bare), so further acceleration into an even bolder life can continue, unburdened by the unsaid. Trust me, you'll want to process any leftover dissidence or desire while you've still got fuller wits about you… because once Mars hits your 12th late in the week (to stay through early June), you'll behave with a zealous blindness, hopefully more beautiful than beastly. You won't have the patience or wherewithal for picky specifics or protracted gut-wrenchings. You'll want the most freedom possible for slipping away into creative impracticality… without worrying about who you've slighted. That's why it's best to take care of any last pressing business now—before vanishing down the rabbit hole into an artistically profitable, mind-expanding wonderland.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22): I'm proud of the work we've done together, you and I. I've coached you through a rather harrowing few weeks of stripping away layers of your psyche, so you can stand lighter in your own shoes… without having to walk around with a backpack full of blame and jacket pockets crammed with shame. If you've followed the process outlined by the Mar 14 lunar eclipse in your sign (with Pluto mercilessly loitering in your 4th house), then you've been at this for a month… a long month of bidding adieu to years of pain, no matter how submerged it's been, from its dull burn to an acute agony… and now to passing gracefully away, without fear that letting go means no one's ever done you wrong. (Oh, they have… but that's yesterday's news now.) As Mercury makes its last pass across the Pluto square and out of your 7th, this is the perfect week to present closing statements and declare the case closed. Whether the accused is found innocent or guilty is up to the big judge in the sky. What matters is that you took the stand and testified on record. If you haven't yet permitted a cross-examination, now's a good time to do so. (It's okay to ask for a couple ground rules before beginning.) And if you haven't yet called yourself as a witness, then what are you waiting for? Will you honestly let the gavel fall on this healing trial, without rising on your own behalf? Who cares if it hurts? This is your life at stake.


LIBRA (September 23-October 22): It's a go-getter week for you, Libra, as you wind up to resolution on the little crap that scrambled your mindset last week and rediscover a clarity and curt cleverness that recently eluded you. Other people aren't the stinkers you'd begun to think they were… now that you can do away with dancing around the topic and bluntly state your purpose. In this fiery astro-setting, no one has the time for more than cursory introductions. Get straight down to business, then push on once the information is exchanged and the box checked off. With Mars lunging into your 10th, you've got the zing to get noticed, with fast-to-the-buzzer responses and a greater dependence on instantaneous instinct over painstaking design. Feel your way through handling the VIPs. No one can prepare you ahead of time for whatever moods they'll be in, least of all them. Predicting what they'll need, with a single penetrating glance into their eyes to sum up the psychic temperature, is the path to winning their hearts.


SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): First on the agenda: If you have any vital cleanup to carry out, following last week's temptation to clobber and cream, it's mandatory you take care of it. There's enough grudge-defying Aries energy around to put whatever happened past you—if you confess your guilt and ask for forgiveness. Resentments that aren't nipped in the bud right away will settle in for the long haul, to resurrect themselves at the most inopportune future instances. Then, after messes are unmade, quit bothering with the he-said-she-said drama, and get back to making the most of your work-life boon. Your mental acuity is frankly tired of being wasted on comebacks and come-ons. It wants real problems to solve and methodological stumbling blocks to wrap itself around. Process-oriented stalemates, which have stumped the experts for days or weeks, can be solved by you (our zodiacal golden boy or girl!) in the blink of an eye—as long as you're looking in the right direction. The severity of your communication style won't matter much, if you've got the winning idea. But for you to get it right (now and always), you must care about the outcome. Any gross missteps are merely a clue that you don't really give a shit.


SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): Let the beat of your drum set a rhythm they can dance to. Wake 'em up. Funk 'em down. Poke 'em in the side with a stick 'til they move. You're a living, breathing pop song, full of catchy couplets they can sing to as they walk the streets or speed down highways, blaring joy. You've got no respect to gain, unless you drop it off the chain. Make 'em groove with sex appeal, while blurting truths that keep it real. Master the sound byte, to keep 'em repeating the last thing you said in their heads, over and over, and damn aren't you fetching. It's gotta be fun. It's gotta come off like you're shooting for number one. To hell with the haters—don't stay to play in their yards, with your guards up. There's cribs and clubs and pubs and prettier places with smiling faces where you're aces… where you rule the school, you're so damn cool, and no two ways about it, everyone's raising the roof with enjoyment. You're the enthusing cruise director. Call the shots. Plan the activities. Make room for festivities. You're only as effective as the good times you've created, for yourself and every Jenny on the block. So rock your socks off, McCoy. And don't be afraid to sound stupid. (I'm clearly not.)


CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): Now is when you need to get yourself out from within tired retreads of the same old discussions. By the time the week is over, you should feel damn relieved to have put in your final say on the matter and moved on to something else… something much dearer to your heart. The dual shift of Mercury and Mars into cardinal signs gives you a fresh lease on your own faculties, as if, at last, you can finally devote some thought and action to what serves you—as opposed to what had snuck up on you, in the form of unchosen obligations and/or other people's (trifling?) concerns. For the next few weeks, it's about what you want and about how you feel… and while you're more than amenable to including certain other folks in what you're doing, dare somebody attempt to stomp all over your badly-needed 'me time' and suck up too much of your limited energy (hey, we've only got so much to go around)… well, let's just say, I wouldn't want to cross you. It's not that raging raucous type of fury (which some might think is the scariest kind) you're liable to wield. Rather, it's your secret weapon—a cold, emotionless disconnect intended to freeze out whomever this self-centered attention hog is, with nothing but a chilling stare and a disinterested un-smile. And if they push you to it, that's just what they'll get.


AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): By this point, Aquarius, you've gotten enough distance from the weeks-and-weeks-ago hibernation phase that you've reacquainted yourself with the public eye. It's about time, then, to start unveiling some of the latest tricks and games you've got up your sleeve—namely, being more assertive (aggressive even, if need be) in how you banter with the various keyholders who can unlock the doors to what you want. The game is to fearlessly answer every objection with the first thing that comes to your mind, rather than stressing about the consequences you might later face. Don't obsess about planning the perfect presentation, but play each present moment and particular person as they come. They each beg for a different approach, and you won't know which until you meet them head-on. The trick is to defer your ego (at least for a moment) to the job at hand, buying yourself the leeway to be pushier. 'It's not aboutme, sir or madam. It's about getting the job done… spreading the word… deploying our resources wisely… helping make this place run more smoothly…' It'll be harder for them to argue, if you take yourself out of the picture as more than mere spokesmodel or corporate representative.


PISCES (February 19-March 20): The risk-taking I advocate for you this week, Pisces, isn't of the Uranus-flavored leaping-out-of-aircraft or quitting-your-job-and-running-off-to-tend-orchards-in-Chile variety. It's more straightforward and conventional, which could make you even more daring for accepting the challenge. It's about not backing down from those situations in which you 'sense' you're not going to get exactly what you want (because someone else wants it too, or it's too much of an inconvenience, or they probably didn't hear you and why bother repeating yourself)… and instead continuing to pursue the exchange, raising your voice or reiterating the request or standing right in their faces and holding intense eye contact and enunciating every syllable and not bowing out but staying with it until you get a clear yes or no. Whenever you quit before reaching this moment, you're subtly sabotaging yourself. Yes, you have a psychic nose for when you're going to get denied—or is it a self-protective, conflict-avoidance, overvaluing-the-other-person mechanism, disguised in the form of intuition? Screw all that. With Venus in your sign and Mars moving into your 5th, it's a magnificent time to push all the way to an actual voiced-aloud answer. And with this method, you're far likelier to get the one you want.