The Babble and the Flap


I spent much of the past week with a nasty throat-and-chest cold. We can call this oracular Astrobarry's 'little surprise' if you'd like.

Or perhaps we might gallantly attribute this lung-based insurrectionist uprising of the mighty mucus militia to an, ahem, 'transfiguring shift in life-force energy… often leading to uncomfortable physical symptoms, as toxins are released,' something which occurred in conjunction with receiving my first Reiki attunement. And this would be spiritual-path-treader Astrobarry's 'brave' symbolic reading.

In either case, I, the 'real' Barry who lives in this body 24 hours a day, was pissed off. Being sick sucks.

As you may already know (and as I so easily forget during fitful heights of emotion), getting angry at one's self for being sick doesn't speed things along or make one feel any better. Instead it creates an internal disconnect, which can easily result in exaggeratedly volatile muscle movements, especially during the unpacking of an eagerly anticipated (and, I might add, rather promptly home-delivered) container of wonton soup… and when [switch to whiny voice] the only thing you want in the whole world [voice turns aggressive] slips out from your wanton-for-wontons hands, dumping the steaming chicken broth and its floating goodies across the table and onto the carpet… [yelling] the soup is now GONE, why me? why now?… and so furious, I refuse to clean it up until the next morning (short of, naturally, grazing the floor for stray shrimp, plucking them free of lint, and defiantly chewing 'em to smithereens)… and still I'm sick. Fighting myself. Hmmm. Thanks again, Mars and Uranus. I remember now—a careless move can change everything. Soup container full, soup container empty. No soup for Barry.

Shortly after, I concede my lack of control and agree to go along with the I'm-sick scenario. Against my initial judgments, I think, 'Maybe I need the rest.' The flow is clearly flowing in a certain direction—couchward—and I'd have been a fool to swim upstream. I make myself about 614 cups of Good Earth tea (mmm… so sweet, so spicy) and settle in for a few days' worth of the best cure for the common cold known to modern humanity: a shitload of television.

Ooh, it feels so good, to let go and relax, to be carried away on a flood of information. Wow, I realize, it's been such a long time since last I tuned into my favorite right-leaning news-er-something-tainment channel (one that I'll leave nameless)… and I wonder, what's going on in my country? Surprise! Countries posing threats to our security for seeking to develop the same weapons we already have pointing up their arses in droves, pesky civil rights groups insisting policies honor all citizens and not just members of 'the official Salvation framework of the 2012 summer Olympics, sponsored by the Mother Church and MasterCard ("master the possibilities")', and all dissent righteously classified as 'anti-patriotic' and recorded in files. Kill the checks and balances? No! Mavericks everywhere, rising up!

Including Renee Zellweger. Oh, Renee, Renee, Renee… marrying someone you've been dating for less than 4 months? I understand that the Apr 24 lunar eclipse in Scorpio fell a day before your birthday, igniting a wild and turbulent year of confronting your deepest emotional passions. (A desperate desire to get married like the other girls?) I guess, with all that fire in your chart—Leo Moon, Mars in Sagittarius, and Venus (retrograde!) in Aries—we shouldn't be surprised by your impulsiveness. But who is this Kenny Chesney guy, anyways? With his oh-so-hot (but forcefully self-concerned) Mars in Aries exactly conjunct your Saturn, maybe his fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants drive will move you to develop freer trust in your own strength… instead of hitting you smack in your weakest spots and reminding you of your strongest inhibitions. But with this interaspect, it'll take a lot of work to make this one look good.

And poor Paula Abdul! Her reputation is being dragged through the mud by former American Idol contestant Corey Clark, who has accused her of… what? impropriety? helping a guy with some style and song-choice advice (and a little secret lovin')? Way to repay her, Cor!

Blame the Apr 8 solar eclipse, Paula… it's all spelled out in textbook astrology. Its disruptive energy fell smack dab on your Descendent, the point in the chart that specifically represents a relationship with another individual. In Aries, it means one person's self-concern (I mean, really…should you have slept with a contestant?) clashes with another's (his album [ha ha ha!] is coming out, and some attention wouldn't hurt). That's what set this all off. And that eclipse squared off with Saturn in Cancer, exerting such uncomfortable pressure right atop your Midheaven, creating this current struggle (and need to pull back) in your career and public reputation. Plus, Corey's Cancer Sun is in that exact same Saturn spot, squaring his natal Pluto, which hits you right on your Ascendent (no wonder he appealed so intensely to you, girl!). For him, this entire event better teach him how potently (mis)using personal power can have challenging consequences for his ability to perpetuate a caring self-identity. Paula, with your 4th-house Capricorn Moon being hurt by all this, I feel for you… honey, this has got to teach you to take care of yourself.

Wherever you sit in the (dare I call it tired?) debate over pop-culture, that it actually makes us smarter or merely teaches us how to consume more of its dastardly depthlessness, doesn't much matter. It is what it is. I prefer to work with what we have, as opposed to talking about how horrible it is… and essentially dooming our every hope in the process. It's perfectly all right to be entertained by a moment's fancy, something lacking ultimate significance for the deliverance of all humanity, or a strand or two of pure frivolity. Especially when, like poor pathetic me, you're sick. Or when the shocks of Mars/Uranus require we level ourselves with matters that matter less.

That's where Venus in Gemini comes in—to disencumber, to buoy, to perk, to dilute. This lighter, brighter Venus squares off against Mars and Uranus in Pisces this week, and we might as well follow a hundred different trains of thought, threads of conversation and pretty glossy surfaces. Let our brains play. Neither Gemini nor Pisces are big on exhaustive conclusions, anyhow.

Everything doesn't have to relate to everything else. All remarks needn't be powerful. Sickies [cough, cough… phlegm reiterates its presence] and non-sickies alike are allowed to change topic, run amuck, indict Mars and Uranus, and breathe with some alternate Gemini excitement.

Gotta go… it's my favorite show!