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Horoscopes | Week of May 9-15, 2005

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Aries, it's in the 12th house, the hidden realm of the unconscious, which means you are the most likely sign to experience odd and inexplicable situations where somebody or something else is portraying an obscure projection of an urge somewhat repressed in your self. 'A repressed urge?' you might gasp, since you tend to err on the side of extroversion. This may make no sense as you read this, and that's the whole point. The promise of your wisest rebellion comes in the moment when instincts would normally drive you to react in forceful confrontation to the person or circumstance that appears in your path… and instead you opt to walk away, withdraw, contemplate, and (eureka!) discover, on your own, a valuable lesson about what you never knew you secretly felt or wanted. Until now. And the external circumstance hardly matters in itself.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Taurus, it's in the 11th house, where groups of people convene to mingle their peculiar individualities into one teeming social mass. Which dictates, first and foremost, that this is a week to be among the many varied members of humanity, enjoying the benefits of your own guaranteed lifetime membership, rather than staying in and blubbering about how the rules don't apply to you because you're so darned different. We're all that different, and the rules don't apply to any of us. We just go along, regardless. And it's your own hesitance to act outside of how you expect us to expect you to act that holds you back. We'd actually prefer that you surprise us. Wallflowers, please dance wildly in the center of the floor. Partiers, shock us by initiating philosophical conversation. Supportive rocks and redeemers, flaunt your own vulnerabilities and damages and let us help you. Just, whatever you do, don't show that same old side—the rest of you craves the exposure.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Gemini, it's in the 10th house, the place where you attain recognition for your achievements on the public stage. If you've been quietly harboring desires to grab for a different reputation at work and/or among those whose respect you covet, now's the time to start acting in the manner for which you want to be known. The added benefit of Venus moving into your sign this week ensures that you'll be seen with an extra-pleasant glow, even as you risk safety to push toward new heights. If the events of this week and/or next end up resulting in a shift incongruent to what you were hoping for or expecting, don't fight the tide… and don't assume the side-swiping news is bad news. Considering the astro-factors in effect, any disappointment may end up, down the road, reinterpreted as some of the best fortune you've had in a while.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Cancer, it's in the 9th house, which implicates the ways in which you form your big-picture perspectives on the world and what your life means within it. The best way to honor Mars/Uranus and shake up your belief system, to edit your personal articles of confederation and discard the moral laws that are no longer appropriate, is to get far outside your normal day-to-day existence so you can look back at it with new eyes. This would be the time to fly across the globe, escape into spiritual retreat, disappear into a book that offers a new framework for old crap, or ask those who you most respect to indulge you with a several-hours-long discussion on what ultimately matters. And if, during the week, you find yourself about to launch into any declarations which might come off as preachy or didactic to those who are your intended audience, pause… then shift the tone, offer your ideas in a tentative 'this is what (I think) I think' manner, and follow up with, 'What do you think about it?' Wherever you are and whatever the context, be prepared to listen.

LEO (July 23-August 22): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Leo, it's in the 8th house, one of the most dense and touchy and sloppy and downreaching places there is… so be ready to puke up your guts and put it all on the table. Don't wait for someone else to attack your character, plunge their finger into your weakspots, or call you dirty names, in order for your truest deepest feelings to escalate to tornado-force gale strength and blow the house down. It's the ideal opportunity to cut through the tension with the knife of direct, unflinching action. Initiate the difficult exchange. Admit the lust. Confess the abuse. Enlist intimate support for the neediness. Own the envy and vent the violence, safely and without harm to others. Just don't naively pretend that none of it is there, or something is destined to come along with a cruel, caustic reminder.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Virgo, it's in the 7th house, home to one-on-one relationships and your often tentative and/or skittish relation to them. As carefully and categorically as you're able to control so many other aspects of your life, that's how totally and unabashedly out-of-control you are when it comes to interactions involving partners and peers of equal standing. No matter how methodically you prepare or plan, he or she goes and says or does something you'd never expect, and now you're on the spot. At least, that unknowable-ness is where the joy and growth potential in relationships resides. So if you're at a point where you're too damn good at predicting how the back-and-forth will unfold, then you're in desperate need of some healthy relationship disarray: new costumes, new tricks, new players, new answers to the same old questions. If you find yourself facing someone and you have no idea what to say or do next, then you're barking up the right tree. Thank the universe for the opportunity to learn… and start winging it.

LIBRA (September 23-October 22): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Libra, it's in the 6th house, where duty dutifully calls via each day's work and self-care responsibilities. It's not a part of life generally thought of as much fun, considering all the shit we must get done tends to require us to fall into regular habits and patterns that easily sap the vitality right out of us. We forget to stay present in what we do. We neglect to enjoy the inherent pleasures in jobs well done, and we take for granted the rewards of loose ends tied up and good health maintained… until, that is, we drop the ball and/or are faced with new challenges. Rather than relying on the old dictum to not fix something unless it's broken, I'd recommend doing some of the breaking yourself, if only to have something to fix. Break the routine. Break the habit. Break free from whatever dull predictability makes you dread doing the very things that fundamentally make you feel fulfilled. Your body doesn't have to flat-out fail in order for you to heal it, and your work needn't be suffering to rethink how it's done. Start at the end of the list, and move weirdly up and through the to-dos, until you remind yourself what earthly purpose everything you do ultimately serves. The meaning of life resides in a dirty kitchen, a 30-minute swim, and a pile of requisite correspondence.

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Scorpio, it's in the 5th house, perhaps the most fun-filled place for such an astro-event to unfold. The freedom to misbehave in harmlessly good-natured ways is yours to embrace, whether through a more obvious and daring flirtation or a spontaneous eruption of performance art in a tight-lipped, well-mannered environment among folks who need to loosen up a bit. You're always someone who likes to push the envelope, but you usually tend toward the covert and mysterious, instead of the overt and outrageously over-the-top that I'm encouraging you to express and embody. The more proper and controlled you try to act while under this influence, the more likely that you will draw someone else's mad misbehavior. You probably won't be able to keep a straight face, and don't bother trying to fight the childish laughter threatening to explode out your mouth. The worst thing you can do is take yourself or anybody else too seriously.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Sagittarius, it's in the 4th house, the proverbial home, an emotional space where you always feel safe and comfortable, whether it's a place with four walls or an attitude you carry with you on your back. I already sort of gave you a headstart on examining this issue two weeks back, when I urged you to consider qualities of home that you might crave for your own most effective respite and rejuvenation. At that time, I qualified the advice by saying that if attention to home seems boring, then you're doing it wrong. Now, with Mars and Uranus joining forces, it's time to trash any residual remnants of dull and act on what inspires and excites you at home. If you need to move, then deal with it. If you need to strip the wallpaper, paint the living room, move the furniture around, evict the roommate, order cable TV, or rewire all the electrical, get going. If something has fallen into disrepair, throw it away and get a new one. And if all these suggestions seem too damn superficial to get at your real issue, then it's time to radically cut yourself off from whatever concept of 'home', inherited from your childhood upbringing, is confining you and/or causing you to react with frenetic movement rather than settling into something. Ask: What about Mom's and/or Dad's home made it feel like a prison? And have you unconsciously replicated it?

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Capricorn, it's in the 3rd house, where you decide which words and other communicative tools to use with which people in which circumstances. As I see it, that basically impels you to stop being so darned cautious and situationally specific with who gets what version of which truth (and to what end? with what motivation?)… and to start trying out different ways of saying what you're saying, or saying what you're not saying, so that different folks can hear different things from your different voices. Every single one of us is a walking contradiction, and it's far better to concede that fact up front and work with it than to betray your facade unexpectedly, due to somebody else beating you to the linguistically experimental punch and saying something that jolts you into breaking character. However it goes down, be prepared to surrender control over your tongue.

AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Aquarius, it's in the 2nd house, the astrological bank vault. And because of that, I'd expect that many horoscopes besides the one I write will also include something about Aquarians' sudden changes in fortune, an opening up of your finances, and/or your potential to dramatically increase your income by taking the less-traveled approach to money-making. The 2nd house is not just about money, but any possessions and resources we consider valuable and which might be drawn upon as strength and security in pursuing prosperity and adventure in our lives. While it may seem like you need to hold onto as much as you can right now, when the idea of 'sudden changes of fortune' can certainly fall to either direction, that is somewhat faulty reasoning. Any good capitalist knows you've got to spend some to make some. Be free and generous with what you have, and this gives the universe the message that you're planning to have more than enough in the near near future. Cling too tightly, and you're asking to have it taken away in order to free yourself up to eventually receive more. Magic—including the money-making variety—is not made through hyper-practical thinking.

PISCES (February 19-March 20): If you read my latest article, you'll learn that this week is ripe with the possibility of surprise. Thanks to the energy of Mars building to conjunction with Uranus by week's end, we may be physically compelled to behave in out-of-the-ordinary fashion, to break free from inertia and to propel our lives along toward something fresh and new. Some startling event or spontaneous awareness might even happen to us, altering our course forever. Or nothing at all unusual will occur. (That would be a surprise, too.) But why waste this cosmic invitation to shunt ourselves away from the expected and into excitement? The cliff courts our jump, and for you, Pisces, it's in your sign, which gives you the VIP pass to do whatever the fuck you want. The more drastically your actions defy the perceptions and labels others put on you, the more exhilarating your life will become. Don't worry the slightest bit about what they will think of you. What's more important is what you think of yourself… the unbelievable sense of fulfillment and freedom that comes when you finally let loose and do the things you've always wanted to do but have been afraid will destroy everything you've worked for. What have you worked for, anyway—truth and beauty, or appropriateness and acceptability? Achievements that fall in the second category are the ones least likely to stand up to your fullest expression of self… and luckily are also the ones least worthy of your time and effort. It's as if I can't find strong enough words with which to encourage you to take the big brave risk this week and next, instead of letting another who-knows-how-long length of your lifetime pass by without knowing the fierce full brunt of living loud and large. Yes, it scares the living bejesus out of you… but so friggin' what? It's better than entertaining into infinity the dull ache of never knowing what could be because you never even bothered trying.