Let's Talk About Me

7.19.04


Let's talk about me.

It's been a while since I've adopted this personal confessional-narrative tone of address with you—in honor of this week's entrance of the ego-symbol Sun into its ruling sign Leo, I feel it's a highly appropriate time to report on what's going down on my end.

You know me as your astrologer. But you may know little else about me, largely because I've done a rather good job (in my humble opinion) of keeping my astro-persona separate from the rest of my life. By no means am I trying to hide things from you. What I reserve from you in specific personal details, I hope I make up for in honest disclosure of the various emotional ups and down I weather—the usuals: fear, anxiety, self-doubt, inexplicable sadness, abrupt anger, urges to escape, not to mention a healthy dose of happiness and optimism—and in sincere contributions of energy toward helping you, via my writings and personal consultations with clients. (For the record and for those curious minds out there, I am an Aquarius.)

Now let me share a little more, for, as I'm sure you must assume, I am more than just an astrologer. Astrology is a passion that showed up surprisingly, much in the way you might drag your ass to some party one night, even though you're sort of tired and don't really want to go out but inexplicably feel like you should, and bump right into the person you fall instantly in love with and end up marrying. I never had plans to become an astrologer. Yet, as my relationship with astrology developed from quiet individual study to readings for friends to professional practice, each step seemed to pull me along without my conscious trying. Astrology for me is a 'calling' in the truest sense of the term, and because of that, I take it very seriously.

Before I leapt into a career as an astrologer, I maintained a more traditional professional life. My last job, which I loved for the bulk of the time I held it, was as General Manager of a small consumer-goods company. I worked with an amazing group of people, and we sold amazing products. And thanks to that experience, I gained a broad wealth of knowledge about how businesses operate. In my assessment, what I did best in this job is exactly what I do best now—working with people; writing; communicating complex ideas in simple terms. It just got to a point in my former career where I no longer felt that my skills were being deployed for the greatest good. I took the risk, quit, and forged ahead on my own uncertain road.

Even with my astrology practice in place, my road is still uncertain. One thing I know for sure is that I'm a writer. I enjoy writing articles and horoscopes for you. I've enjoyed writing for businesses in the form of brochures, press releases, corporate communications, employee manuals, web content and packaging copy. And I've enjoyed writing for the art of it, which I perpetually pursue through my poetry, short prose pieces and that long-half-finished novel. Not only have I enjoyed doing these things, but I also believe, based on the feedback I've received, my efforts provide assistance and enjoyment to others in the world. What more could one want?

Well, of course I want more—I'm an ambitious little bugger (blame my Capricorn moon if you must!). I'm so satisfied with what I've accomplished so far, but in order to cultivate further development in all the areas I've mentioned, I have to 'put myself out there'. Ah, putting one's self out there… there are few concepts more central to achieving success, and few I find as personally distasteful, necessary though it may. It's my own shortcoming that I find it so difficult to ask for help and support and opportunities for professional development, to (gasp!) market myself. It's my inner control-freak who'd rather toil behind the scenes, quietly designing masterpieces in a lonely isolated bubble, until great work just bursts fully formed from my forehead like a wise Athena. Well, it's time to shut the control-freak up and to bust past my difficulties. Consider this my putting-out of self.

This meditation on me is not merely self-serving; it does relate to the astrological climate of the week. In addition to the Sun's entry into Leo, Mars also continues his travels through this sign of pride, showmanship and self-expression. Leos get their bad reputation for ego-centeredness because they cannot help but be themselves, love 'em or not for it. 'Being yourself' seems like it should come automatically to everyone, but (as many of us know too well) it doesn't, due to the desire to please others or our internal judgments that block our true voice.

As the week progresses, Mars moves into a beneficial trine with Pluto to help us push outward, physically and energetically, toward intense transformation of how we are in the world. Mars (e.g., our projective urges, will, action, approach to conflict) in combination with Pluto (e.g., our deepest psychological instincts, dark 'shadow self', relationship to power and control, regenerative capacity) can be an extremely forceful influence for transformational movement. Think of Mars as a shovel you're using to dig a hole—when you throw Pluto into the mix, it's like your foot pushing the shovel deeper into the ground, so more dirt is removed and a deeper space uncovered. Dredging up more of ourselves from underneath adds intensity to our self-defining statement: 'This is who I am, and this is what I do.' We uncover secrets. Until we open up and offer ourselves in this way, we cannot know who is out there waiting to help us or be helped by us… because they don't know us.

This is who I am, and this is what I do: I operate my own astrological website, which I would like to redesign with additional content and greater functionality, so you can learn better about astrology basics. I'm planning to teach an astrology course in San Francisco in the near future (click here to let me know you're interested in hearing more about this). I aim to share my astrological writing through regular published columns in other weekly and monthly publications, and I'd love to put out an introductory book about astrology. I also plan to continue pursuing publication of my non-astrology creative writing in literary magazines and journals, with the eventual goal of seeing book-length artistic works by me on bookstore shelves. And I'm always eager to take on freelance writing assignments on any topic, in any industry, toward any end, to share my communication skills with interested parties.

I humbly put this out to you and to the universe, so that help and support and opportunities will come to me and I can continue working for the greatest good. I urge you to do the same. The worst that can happen is nothing more than what's already happening. The best? Unforeseen wonders await…